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Simon Coronel at The Magic Castle

"I'm an illusionist and I'm okay!"

Dazzling Dan sent in this photo and sent my mind spinning as I had to try to remove mental mind blocks to figure out where it came from. (No doubt you'll be creating a few mind blocks of your own as you try to erase the image from your memory now you've seen it too!)

Tim Dan Sydney Con

The costume I'm wearing (and you should be relieved you're only seeing the top half of it) was borrowed from another magician (who wears it for real) and it was intended to be a parody of the way illusionists dress with their leather, chains, pvc and mesh.

The sketch was performed at the end of a parody show we did at the 1998 Australian Magic Convention in Sydney and was a magical version of Monty Python's classic Lumberjack sketch.

Our version began with me attempting to perform as a very serious mentalist (Bent Klackmore) dressed in a black suit, and it went a little like this:

"Welcome to the unexplored world of the mind. In our day to day life we only use 3% of our total mind’s capacity. Imagine if you will, what the possibilities are if we....Oh sod it! I didn’t want to do this. I don’t want to be a mind reader. I don’t want to rabbit on all day about... palm reading... dowsing... astral travel... it’s all a fake!

I wanted to be... an illusionist! [Music begins and I strip off to my creepy illusionist costume] 

Leaping from showroom to showroom as I cruise down the mighty strip of Las Vegas, Nevada. The metamorphosis trunk. The zigzag. The asrah. The mighty origami. The puzzling geometric box. The plucky little headchopper. The thin model sawing. The thrusting power of impaled. The sensual penetration of interlude. The thinly disguised B&D fantasy of the assistant’s revenge... With my best roadie by my side we’d sing sing sing

 

I’m an illusionist and I’m ok

I work all night and I sleep all day

[Chorus - sung by a trio of singing "assistants"]

He’s an illusionist and he’s ok

He works all night and he sleeps all day

 

I cut up girls, and though they smile

I point and look angry

On Wednesdays I do matinees

The kiddies come to see.

 

He cuts up girls, and though they smile

He points and looks angry

On Wednesdays he does matinees

The kiddies come to see.

 

He’s an illusionist and he’s ok

He works all night and he sleeps all day

 

I count all my illusions,

now I’ve got 32.

The most important thing is

that I’ve got more than you!

 

He counts all his illusions

Now he’s got 32

The most important thing is

That he’s got more than you!!

 

He’s an illusionist and he’s ok

He works all night and he sleeps all day

 

I play with my white tigers

And then show off my scars

I dress in leather clothing, and hang around in bars... 

 

He plays with his white tigers??

And shows off all his scars.....???  [The singers walk off in disgust]

 

He’s an illusionist and he’s ok   [The singers run back on singing]

He works all night and he sleeps all day

 

He’s an illusionist and he’s okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [long hold]

He works all night and he sleeps all day"

You can singalong to a terrible midi karaoke version of the music here.

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