20 entries categorized "People Are Funny"

Charming Hotel - Taipei

I'm off to do a TV spot in Taiwan and something tells me I might have some "Engrish Ressons" coming my way. Take a look at this from my hotel's website:

Outstanding among all, perfectly satisfactory

An exquisitely carved hotel located at Kuang Fu North Rd. and Pa De Rd., presented its brand-new style and features to warmly get in touch with you. The classicism garden is floating delicate fragrance in the wind. It is your sweetly inspirational rest place.

Staying at Taiwan to look the world, you could find Naples at Taipei Charming Hotel suspend your step---- --- Enjoy the elaborately delicious cuisines that Taipei Charming Hotel prepares for you. We solemnly launches Italian set meal on 1st of Aug Selective Italian set meal.

Considerable Charming Hotel Every visitors Classically elegant guest rooms Selective well-executed furniture and decorations Everywhere amassed considerations and comforts Providing master spare parts Let you relief from exhausted and adapt to sweetness peace.

  • Free 24 hours ADSL internet service, adequately enjoy the online amusement
  • One free Chinese or Weston style breakfast

  • Another Tim Ellis

    Rik Brooks, our good magician friend over in Tennessee, sent me this email about an incident in his local store that sounds like something out of the Twilight Zone!

    I was at the grocery store close to my farm and I saw a sign with a smiling man that said something like, "If you have any concerns, go directly to our store manager, Tim Ellis!"

    So I did. I saw him working at a desk and I asked if he was Tim Ellis.

    "I sure am!" he said.

    "Great! Here's a quarter, make it disappear." I said.

    He didn't miss a beat and dropped it into his pocket.

    I laughed and told him about you.

    Odd, ain't it?

    Crazy Laws

    When we performed at The Magic Castle last year I did a routine based on crazy, outdated laws that are still on the books. I wish I'd seen this site when I was writing the routine.

    Here are some samples:

    • It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.
    • Moose may not be viewed from an airplane.
    • In Los Angeles a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap. Consent should be given prior to the event, as is carefully stipulated.
    • A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.
    • Oral sex is considered to be sodomy.
    • It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.
    • Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
    • Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.
    • The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
    • It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
    • Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.
    • It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.
    • The marriage of imbeciles and feeble-minded persons is prohibited.
    • Connecticut still retains an old law forbidding any kind of "private sexual behavior between consenting adults."