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February 2005
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April 2005

1 entry from March 2005

Sam the Bell Hip-Hop


"Cleanin Out My Cardcase"

Where's my joker,

I have no joker in my deck,

there ya' go,





Have you ever been hated or discriminated against,

I have, I've been rejected and ejected from here,

no-one signs my sponsorship or even gives me a tip,

sick is the mind of the 4Fn' kid that's behind,

all this convention, everyone’s fighting to get my attention,

they wanna show me their tricks, just blow 'em off and keep goin',

not takin' nothin' from no one, leave me alone or I’m leavin’,

we seeing lectures in the mornin', an' watchin shows in the evening,

then the dealers try to sell me stuff that I’ll never use,

see they can show me, but they'll never sell it to me now,

look at me now, I bet ya' pro’ly sick of me now, ain't you Obie,

I'ma make you look so ridiculous now...

I'm sorry Obie!

I never meant to hurt you!

I never meant to make you cry, but tonight

I'm cleanin' out my cardcase, {one more time}, I said I’m sorry obie!

I never meant to hurt you!

but my Canadian friend tonight I'm cleanin' out my cardcase...

Ha! I got more cards in my cardcase

and I don't know if no one knows it,

so before I mess up Bill Malone’s stack and it blows it

I'ma expose it, i'll take you back to '73,

before I ever had a multi-platinum hit DVD,

I did kids shows, for just a couple of months,

my magic dealer sold me coloring books by the bunch,

but they split, hey man were they legit we all cried

no they weren’t, I saw they’d written Magic Makers on the side,

I took a course in dove magic but all my animals died,

Even if I hate cards, I grit my teeth and I’d try,

to make it work for you, least for Bill Malone’s sake,

I maybe made some mistakes

but I’m man enough to face them today,

what I did was stupid, no doubt it was dumb,

it was the worst deck stacking that anyone’s done,

cause I’da killed 'em, if my trick didn’t blow, it's my life,

I’d like to welcome y'all to the Timenem show...


Now I would never diss my man Obie just to get recognition,

take a second to listen for who you think this card trick is dissin',

but put yourself in my position, just try to envision

witnessin' your man poppin' dunkin’ donuts in the kitchen,

saying that someone's always goin' overtime and stuff’s missin',

going through registration systems, inviting famous magicians,

my whole life I was made to believe I was invited when I wasn't

'til I came up, and got famous, it makes you sick to ya' stomach,

So why you looking at me like I don’t know jack, obe,

you think I’m a hack and can’t restack my pack, obe,

but guess what, four guys walked into the jam, and they went up to Sam, and he got them some girls so quick, they said Sam you’re the man,

we wanna give you a tip now, two bucks that’s beautiful,

but Sam said ten each man or else it’s your funeral,

see what hurts me the most is this trick used to be fun,

but Bill Malone’s bellhop never had his own gun,

he shot all four guys and their fathers the kings,

and the other cards, he did all sorts of things,

then Sam shot himself and you said you wished it was me,

well guess what, I am dead, cos obie’s gonna kill me...


Written by Tim Ellis

A parody of Eminem's 'Cleaning out my Closet' and Bill Malone's 'Sam the Bell Hop'